Good genes?

I can't believe I'm typing this, but my dad isn't dying. I finally got the strength to stand up to him and refused to buy him any more alcohol until he goes to the Urgent Care or to the ER, to get lab work for Hospice, since they need a terminal diagnosis in order to admit him into their services and can't get a terminal diagnosis until lab work is drawn. And if he is in fact dying, which I was so certain he was, I would buy him all the alcohol he wants.

Since he doesn't have a primary care doctor, I had to convince him to go to a clinic or the ER for labs, which was rather difficult because he is paranoid about getting COVID or having it and passing it to people. I explained spreading it without being symptomatic first would mean spreading it is unlikely and he only goes to the bank now, so where would he get it from? Like I said before, it's not logical, but fear very seldom is. 

So, I get him to the ER and they do a thorough examination and take blood to figure out what's wrong. He is drunk, of course, so he is super talkative and flirting with anyone who is female. This isn't unusual for him to do, but it's heightened when he is intoxicated. A couple hours later, after an EKG, a chest X-ray, and a few blood draws, the doctor comes in to give us the lowdown. 

Just to give you some reference, my dad calculated that he had been drinking 5 gallons of Vodka and 24 Mike's Hard Lemonades in one month, sometimes more and when he told this to the medical staff, they were shocked he was still breathing, as was I! That is why, when the doctor came in and told us his liver was fine and most of his preliminary blood work was fine, you could have knocked us both over with a feather and I know I had my mouth hanging open. What they were concerned about was he had lost half his blood volume somehow and they'd have to admit him in order to do a full work-up to find the bleed. We were completely shocked that he wasn't dying. His liver was only at stage 2 liver disease, which is good for him. My dad said the doctor that saved his life during the blood clot ordeal, told him that he must have good genes and boy was he not exaggerating! 

In my mind and his, these good genes must mean he is still needed here for some unknown reason, and I keep encouraging him to think about finding a purpose or using his story as a word of caution to people. I know he is a walking, talking, breathing miracle and God is so good! Dad is inspiring me every day that he stays sober and the improvements to his health and appearance are astounding! He's lost a ton of fluid in his legs and feet, so they are almost normal looking, his stomach distention has gone down and his pants fit him looser, and he was able to weigh himself and is at 265lbs. The last time he weighed himself he was 330lbs, so a drastic difference! Amen!

Dad has refused rehab, and is determined to do this on his own. I am trying to support and encourage him to seek some counseling at least, so that he is supported if other medical stuff comes up. My fear is that once he is healthy he will venture out on his own to get alcohol or if it's determined that his heart is failing him, that he will call a cab and go out to drink. Avoiding things, by drinking and distracting himself away from his emotions is all he's ever known. He doesn't drive, so I do all the driving and most of the grocery shopping; he was able to go shopping in one of the electric carts, which was awesome! I am just fearful that once he gets more independent that he will go out to get alcohol or go out to a bar and then try to come home. I've already put my foot down and given him the boundary that he can't drink here and if I find out he is drinking he will need to find a new place to live. I explained to him that I will never stop loving him, but I cannot sit and watch him kill himself slowly and painfully. It's too hard on me. So far he has agreed to abstain from drinking and is doing scratch tickets instead. I don't have any problem with getting him those or with him doing them, because at least they don't kill his body and it's a source of entertainment for him; it's certainly the lesser of two evils.

In my next post, I will go into more detail of his stay in the hospital, during which he detoxed off alcohol, got some procedures done to look for the bleed, received 3 units of blood and made the decision to stop drinking during a moment that I liken to "the rock bottom of rock bottoms." Needless to say, whenever someone mentions to him that he must have good genes, I feel like screaming at them to stop telling him that in spite of his drinking, the damage to his body has been minimal! It feels like they mean well, but addicts use any justification they can, in order to keep using and all joking aside, his "good genes" may end up being the justification he uses to throw caution to the wind again, so enough with the praising his good luck and how about encouraging him to stay sober so he can live a long time for his family?